The GREEN Beast of Konoha
by Lady C Andrews
Summary: Lee decides to dye his hair! The results are hilarious. Or not so. I don't think it's funny, but lets say you, what do YOU think? Review, please! No longer a oneshot! Last chapter up!
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto, unfortunately._

_**AN**: Yeah, so, I just just sitting here, and WHAM! BAM! BOOM! This idea hit me...for no apparent reason at all._

_**Full Summary**: Lee decides to dye his hair! The results are hilarious. Or not so. I don't think it's funny, but lets say you; what do YOU think? Review, please!_

_**----------**_

_**The GREEN Beast of Konaha  
**__**By SapphireWhiteTigress**_

**Chapter I**

_**----------**_

"Lee, **_what_** are you doing?" Tenten asked skeptically, watching as Rock Lee, teammate and friend, carried in his arms some unmarked square shaped boxes.

Lee gave her one of his award winning grins. "I'm going to dye my hair!"

Both Tenten and even Neji's jaws dropped. "**_Why_**?"

Lee just continued to grin as he placed the stuff that were in his arms, down on the ground to give them his full explanation. "I heard that Sakura-san likes guys with green hair! Yosh!" He gave them a thumbs up in his excitement.

"WHAT!" Neji and Tenten shouted their disbelief. Tenten was first to recover, as Neji looked like he was about to pass out. "Lee, Sakura **_doesn't_** like guys with green hair. I mean, Sasuke hair's black and she's particularly all over him. And, no offense, Lee, but green is an ugly color."

Lee frowned at that but quickly brighten. "Nonsense! Green is a youthful and very powerful color! It is the color of my suit! It is the color of my youthful and spiritual energy! And it's the color of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!"

Tenten figured that Lee was beyond reasoning. "But...**_green_**, Lee! It's already bad that you...uh," She was going to say something about his unearthly thick and fuzzy eyebrows, but she didn't want to hurt his feelings. "...have to **_wear_** green all the time. People might start..."

"--Throwing rocks at you." Neji jumped in for the first time.

Lee and Tenten blinked at the usually silent Hyuuga prodigy. "Why would any one throw rocks at me?" Something clicked inside of Lee's head. "Neji, was that a...a **_pun_**?"

Neji smirked. "No, but I wouldn't doubt if they do start throwing rocks at you, Lee." Neji than proceed to mentally picture a green-haired Lee running and ducking as random people threw many different rocks at the poor boy. It was quite comical sight in his head. "On second thought, go for it."

Lee, obviously not a mind reader, flashed Neji a bright smile. "I knew you'll see it my way, Neji! Thanks for your support!" He picked up one of the boxes and read the directions on the back. It confused him. "...I have no idea where to start."

Tenten rolled her eyes. "Maybe the best place would be your bathroom." She gently smacked him on the back of the head, obviously giving him a 'dummy smack'.

Lee sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "Um, Tenten? Could you help me?"

Tenten sighed. "Fine, it's your self-image you're destroying, not mine."

Lee continued to grin, as if not hearing what she had said after the word 'fine'. "Alright! Thanks Tenten!" He quickly picked up his supplies and waited for Tenten to follow him to his house.

She followed, but not before grabbing Neji. "You're coming too."

Neji frowned and said nothing, but inside, he was weeping like a little boy.

_**----------**_

The three reached Lee's house in five minutes. Lee, having his hands full, couldn't open the door and realized he left his keys inside. Tenten sighed and kicked the door in, much to Lee's protesting. He wanted to cry at seeing his door taken down like that. He'll have to repair it later...or get Gai-sensei to do it for him. Yeah, that'll work, because if he were the one to replace his door...he would be locked out (or in) for all eternity.

They stepped over the broken down door and entered Lee's small home. There wasn't much to look at and the broken door took up at least two fourths of the first room, which looked to be the sitting room/sleeping room whereas the small futon Lee sleeps on was folded against in a corner. They was one door, which lead to the bathroom, and a small room on the left side of them which was the kitchen. Lee opened the door to the bathroom with a nudge of his foot.

He gratefully placed his supplies down and waited for Tenten to start. Tenten released her hold on Neji, secure that he was not going anywhere, and took one of the cartons. "Are you sure, Lee? It **_is_** reversible, but that'll get really annoying."

Lee nodded, his youthful determination sat in his black eyes. "Hai! I am as ready as I'll ever been, Tenten! Do your work with youthful exuberance, as I know you will!"

Lee sat down at the edge of the tub, waiting for Tenten to 'work her magic'. Neji started to wonder why he was even there.

"I'm starting to wonder why I'm even here." Neji wondered, but was ignored. He growled and leaned up against the door frame, sulking. "Make it quick..." He murmured, transfixing his gaze on a spot on the floor.

"Sheesh, you're an impatient one." Tenten teased, sticking her tongue out at the still sulking Neji. His eyes were closed and therefor, didn't see the pinkish tongue she stuck at him. She then went to work on Lee, who was so excited, he could barely contain himself.

Two and a half hours late, they were **_finally_** done. It took them longer than they thought. During that time, Neji's eyes stayed close and they soon realized that he fell asleep...while leaning against the door frame as slight snores escaped him. He even muttered a few incoherent words and twitched as if he was chasing something. They were waiting in anticipation for him to fall over, but it never happened.

Tenten stood up and looked at her handiwork. "Um, not bad, I guess...look...in the mirror."

Lee grinned as brightly as the sun in the sky as he jumped in front of the mirror to see how beautiful his hair was. Nothing came from his mouth for five whole minutes as his wide eyes stared at his reflection in mute shock, but then; "WOW! I look even more youthful than before! Thanks, Tenten!" Lee hugged Tenten, nearly crushing her bones.

"Eh...you're...you're welcome...Lee..." She gasped out.

Neji awoke from Lee's shouting and regretted it. "Good god!" He stumbled back, covering his eyes.

Lee continued to grin at his rival and teammate, his now green hair, shining almost as brightly as his smile. Lee, all in all, looked either comical or...scary. Neji obviously thought the latter of the two.

"Lee..." Neji started, taking a moment to compose his thought.

"Yes, Neji?" Lee asked, unaware of the turmoil that went on through the young man's mind.

He took a deep breath. "As there is no easy way to tell you this, I will straight out say it; You look like you have a green...**_monster_** living on your head."

Lee frowned at that. "I do? I was going for something along the lines of a green and **_youthful_** turtle."

"Monster." Both Tenten and Neji said at the same time.

"I'll think it'll start mutating if you keep it on your head long enough." Tenten said, giggling.

Lee shrugged. "I think it looks great. I shall go off now and show Gai-sensei!" With that, Lee ran from his house, tripping over his broken door, and ran down the street in search of his favorite sensei.

Both Neji and Tenten stared after him. "I'll give him one hour before he comes back **_begging_** to change his hair back." Tenten said, still watching the empty space where Lee once stood.

Neji shrugged. "I'll give him fifteen minutes."

_**----------**_

As Lee searched every possible place for his sensei, people stared and they stared **_hard_**. Most of the folk stared with open mouths that literally fell past their chests. A few stared dumbfounded, eyes refusing to remove themselves from the walking green...person.

Someone took Village of the Leaf a little to seriously. They should remind him that this was **_Konoha_**; Village Hidden in the Leaf, not **_Konoha_**; Village of the Leaf People.

Because, that's what he looked, a giant walking green leaf.

But some of the younger villagers thought it was funny because as soon as they sat eyes on the walking leaf, they would just stare in shock and then, after three whole seconds, fall over laughing, most of them rolling in the ground, holding into their sides.

However, Lee paid it no mind as he made his way to find Gai-sensei, and after he would find his sensei, and they would hug and the older man telling him how much that new hair color matches his soul, he would find Sakura, and she would fall head over heels in love with him, because she **_loves_** guys with green hair! Right?

It took him exactly ten minutes to find Gai-sensei, eating at Ichiraku with Kakashi-sensei, Asuma-sensei, and Kurenai-sensei.

"GAI-SENSEI!" Lee shouted with joy as he found him.

"Ah! Lee, I was--" As Gai turned around, as did the others, color drained from all of their faces, including the Ichiraku's shop keeper and his daughter.

Lee continued to grin in that oblivious way of his.

"Lee! What have you DONE to yourself!" Gai shouted, horror stricken as the others in the group snickered.

Just than, Naruto decided to join the group. "Hey, hey every--AHHHH!" Naruto shouted, taken aback by the green haired ninja in front of him and falling promptly on his rear. "Fuzzy Brows! Your--your!" Naruto couldn't finish as he burst out laughing. "Hahaha! You look so...so! HAHA! Dude, you look...look..." The correct words still fail to reach his lips as another wave of intense laughter burst forth.

Lee blushed in embarrassment and turned to Gai-sensei's still gawking form. "Gai-sensei...is my hair really that laughable?"

Gai quickly snapped out of his daze. "Wha? Oh! Of course not, Lee! Your new look is...eh..."

"Hilarious!" Naruto offered to the stammering man.

Lee pointed a finger at Naruto. "Naruto, you know nothing of Green Beast's beauty!"

Naruto sobered for about two seconds before bursting out laughing again. "Green beast! I get it! I get it! HAHA!"

Gai ignored the laughing Narutard...er, Naruto and continue to look at Lee's green hair, willing himself not to poke it. "Lee...why did you change your hair color?"

Before he could answer though, a gasp sounded behind them. Lee spun around to lay eyes upon his beautiful 'angel'.

"Sakura-san!" He shouted enthusiastically. "Look! I changed my hair color!" He said, pointing a finger at the green mop on his head.

Sakura couldn't take her eyes off of it. "Lee-san...your...hair..."

He nodded. "Yes, Sakura-san! You said you liked guys with green hair, didn't you?"

She blinked, forcefully tearing her eyes away from his hair and to his eyes. "Huh? When did I say that?"

Lee frowned. "You didn't say you like guys with green hair? But I overheard you talking to your friend yesterday!"

Sakura continued to blink in confusion until it all started to become clear and she softly laughed. "Lee-san, I said I like those green pair. Where in the world did you get 'I like guys with green hair' from that?"

Naruto was still laughing. He was laughing so hard that he was starting to turn blue in the face and oxygen was no longer going to his brain.

Kakashi lazily watched him. "Naruto, you should probably stop laughing so hard. You'll quite literally die of laughter."

But Naruto couldn't stop, and therefore, he passed out from lack of oxygen. Kakashi shook his head, turning back to his food.

Lee face fell. "Oh..."

Sakura felt sorry for him. "But, um...you look really nice, Lee-san!"

Lee's eyes instantly lit up like a Christmas tree at her words. "Do you really think so, Sakura-san?" At her somewhat hesitant nod, Lee jumped in the air. "Yosh! Sakura-san thinks I look nice! I will never, for as long as I live, change my hair back to its natural color for it will remain this glorious green, forever!" With his speech, Lee ran off into the distance, leaving everyone behind in awe.

All eyes glared at Sakura and she sweatdropped. "What?"

Kakashi sighed. "Looks like we have more than glistering teeth to blind us."

Everyone agreed, except for Gai, who had tears in his eyes and Sakura, who had confusion in hers.

Lee could be heard in the distance shouting about love, youth, and green hair.

_**----------**_

_**AN**: That was...kinda weird, no? O.o Please, no flames. I also decided to continue it, so stay tune for chapter 2!_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer**: Still don't own anything but the general idea for this fic._

_**AN**: This was going to be a one-shot, but since I got a random review that wanted more...well, this is dedicated to that random reviewer! And whoever else liked the first chapter. I was actually surprised to get any reviews at all within the first hour. I actually did a double take...which turned into a triple take. _

_I was kinda hesitant to continue this story, because I thought it'll ruin the flow...anyway, enjoy._

_**----------**_

_**The GREEN Best of Konoha  
**__**By SapphireWhiteTigress**_

**Chapter II**

_**----------**_

_Two Weeks Later_

Lee was afraid to wash his hair because he feared that if he were to wash it, than his most beautiful green hair would turn back to its original color. So, for two whole weeks, he refused to get it wet. But something started to happen to his beautiful hair...it started to grow, rapidly, until it was past his shoulder blades. He, of course, paid it no mind. He thought of getting a hair cut to return it to the wonderful bowl-cut that he shared with Gai-sensei, but cutting it was out of the question. What if it messed up the greenness of it all?

"Lee..." Both Neji and Tenten were staring at him a bit skeptically as they did when he first declared that he was going to dye his hair.

"Yes, comrades?" He asked, always oblivious to everything around him.

Neji cleared his throat. "Remember when I said that your hair will start mutating if you keep it on your head for too long?"

Lee looked thoughtful for a minute, placing a hand under his chin. "Well, yeah, I do recall you saying something like that. Why are you bringing it up?"

"Lee, your hair's mutating." Neji and Tenten said in unison.

Lee blinked. "Huh?" He randomly pulled out a mirror he kept in his...uh, pockets...if he had any...pockets. Anyway, he pulled out a hand mirror and looked into its reflection, gasping. Sure enough, his hair instantly grew past his shoulders, past his mid back, down towards his rear, even further down his knees until it touched the ground, but it didn't stop there. Oh, no. It grew and grew and grew some more until it snaked around them, covering them in green hair.

"Lee! Where on earth did you get that dye from!" Tenten struggled against the fuzzy hair particles which started to tickle in certain areas.

Lee thought back.

_**--Flashback--**_

_Lee was, as he did everyday, kicking the worn out log in the training area. He was alone, since his teammates had already retired for the day. He didn't mind. He was glad to be alone so he could gather his thoughts as he punched, kicked, and completely destroy the log. It was what he did everyday, until he was stopped by a mysterious voice that beckoned to him_

"_Hey, kid..." It hissed, sounding oddly like a snake._

_Lee stopped his assault on the weeping log and turned towards the voice, only to see nothing. "Huh? A mysterious voice beckoning to me?"_

"_How would you like to...have the ultimate green hair?" It said._

_Lee gasped. "You! How did you know that I needed to dye my hair green to gain the affection of the most beautiful flower in the village!"_

_If Lee could see whoever it was he was talking to, he would've seen them blink in confusion. "I didn't...but, here...perhaps **this** will help?" Suddenly, a bright light appeared and in the center of that light was small, unlabeled boxes. _

_Lee only stared at them wearily. "What is that?"_

"_That will allow you to change your hair to green and only than will you be able to...gain the affection of your...precious person." As that was said, the wind shifted as the person or whatever it was disappeared, but Lee couldn't tell since he didn't see the person in the first place. To Lee, it was a mysterious mighty voice from above that answered all his prayers._

"_Oh, thank you mysterious mighty voice from above for answering my prayers! I must go forth, and gain the affection of Sakura-san by means of changing my luscious black hair to green!" With that said, Lee grabbed whatever he needed and ran to find Tenten and Neji._

_**--End Flashback--**_

Neji and Tenten stared at him in disbelief as he finished. "Lee! You're not supposed to take hair products from strangers! Especially mysterious voices!" If she could, she would've knocked him upside his head, but alas, she was trapped within the clutches of the mutated hair monster.

Lee blushed. "I'm sorry, Tenten...I guess I messed up again, huh?" He said with deep sorrow in his voice.

Tenten felt bad. "It's okay, Lee."

Neji grunted. "No it isn't." He tossed a kunai that he had in his mouth (funny, how he spoke with a kunai in his mouth) to Lee.

Lee caught it with his hand that stuck out from the green mess. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Cut your hair." Neji demanded.

Lee's eyes widen. "What! But I can't! Not my precious hair!"

"Just do it, Lee!" Tenten yelled in annoyance.

Lee's lower lip trembled as he shakily took the kunai to his hair, with tightly closed eyes, he cut it. The hair instantly released them and all three landed gracefully on their feet, surrounded by fifteen feet of hair.

Neji sighed. "Hopefully, that's it."

Unfortunately, this story can't end there, and when they thought it was over, the gigantic hair grew large eyes and large caterpillar eyebrows. It glared at them and quickly slithered away.

"Quick! After it!" Lee shouted, running after what used to be his hair, only to fall on his back.

His hair started to grow. Again.

His teammates eyes widen in despair. "I can't believe this." Neji stated, not believing what was going on.

Tenten grabbed Lee's collar and started to shake him. "Lee, you idiot! How could you be so careless! You're a ninja for crying out loud! As rule number ten states in the Ninja Guidance Book: 'Do not, under **_any_** circumstance, take HAIR PRODUCTS FROM MYSTERIOUS VOICES, especially if you want to gain the affections of your precious person'!"

Lee quickly became dizzy from all the shaking and his eyes were little swirls. "Ten...ten..."

She wasn't done yet. "Now how are we going to destroy this evil creature if your hair keeps growing!" She growled, finally releasing him.

Neji watched on the side lines. Even though Tenten was a sweet girl sometimes, she scared even him when she gets angry.

Lee fell to the ground. He could literally hear his brain wattling inside of his round head, but he soon forgot about that as his hair reminded him of the dire situation that they were in. It started to consume him.

"What!" He shouted, fighting to stay out of his hair. He punched at the green, but his hand only managed to go right through the mess.

Tenten and Neji could only watch. They wanted to help their friend, really, they did, but how can they go about it without **_harming_** him?

"Neji, use your Byakugan!" Tenten shouted, but his Byakugan was already activated.

Neji stared intently at the green hair that used to belong to Lee. It didn't make any sense to him. "This...mutated hair of Lee's is created out of pure chakra. Since it doesn't have a physical being to it, it would be impossible to destroy and if it were to be absorb...most likely, the amount of chakra and the type of chakra from the hair would probably cause you to explode." He concluded, deactivating his bloodline limit.

"That's bad." Tenten said after a few seconds.

"Ahh!" Lee yelled as his hair swallowed him. Now, the hair was larger than the last with two large round eyes, two unearthly large eyebrows, and now, a mouth with sparkling white teeth.

"Lee!" Neji and Tenten shouted as he was no more.

"Rwoooaaarr!" The Teenage Mutant Green Hair roared. "I will eeeaaaaaat yoooooooooou!" It was hungry, I think.

And they thought so too as they ran away before the monster thing could have a taste of them. "Now what do we do? There's TWO of them!" Tenten panted out as they ran. "We should warn everyone!"

Neji's bloodline limit was activated as they ran form their training spot. "There's no need for that. The first one has already reached the main city, destroying everything in it's path. We should hurry and get there."

They reached their destination in five minutes when they found Gai-sensei fighting off the first green hair monster. He stopped as he saw them. "Neji! Tenten! Where's Lee!"

Tenten panted and jerked her thumb behind them, where the larger green hair thing was coming at them.

Gai eyes widen. "They're two of them? This is most definitely not good! What are these things?"

"These are the results of Lee's 'hair experiment'." Neji stated calmly.

"This is Lee's beautiful and youthful hair? What has become of my most prize student!" Gai wailed, falling to his knees.

"Give it a rest, Gai-sensei! We have to get rid of these things and get Lee back!" Tenten shouted, grabbing her weapons, ready to fight these mutated creatures.

Gai quickly jumped up, not a trace of his previous tears on his face as his eyes set in determination. "You are right, Tenten! We must put all effort into destroying these things and returning peace back to Konoha once more! Let's go!" And he charged towards Mutant Green Hair Thing #1, only to have it slash out with it's 'tail'. Gai, being the fast devil that he is, dodged without so much as a thought. He threw a fist at it, but as he made contact, his arm got stuck.

"What is this?" It started to pull him in and Gai-sensei was gone.

_**----------**_

_**AN**: Haha, don't worry, this is purely humor (or supposed to be) with no drama, horror, or romance...though, that last one I'm not sure of yet...So, what did you think of the second chapter? And don't worry, Lee's okay and so is Gai...you'll see, come next chapter, which is the last chapter!_

_And thanks again Ka-chan, for giving me a chance to make a second chapter! _

_Please keep the reviews coming! They make me happy and want to do same day updates! _


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer**: Still don't own anything but the general idea for this fic._

_**AN**: Last chapter, yay. This story was only three short chapters long. XD_

_**----------**_

_**The GREEN Best of Konoha  
**__**By SapphireWhiteTigress**_

**Chapter III**

_**----------**_

Tenten and Neji stared in shock as the giant green thing of hair that swallowed Gai and burped, sending them flying into a building. They picked themselves up. "Oh no! He ate Gai-sensei!" Tenten cried out to Neji.

Neji raised an eyebrow. "And?" He said carelessly. Gai-sensei and Lee gave him the creeps anyway.

"Neji!" Tenten scolded him. "We **_have_** to help them. They are, after all, our teammate and sensei. Now let's go!" She grabbed Neji's reluctant hand and led him away from the monsters.

"Rwwooooaaar!" They roared at each other, deciding to wreck havoc together on the village.

"Where are we going?" Neji asked as Tenten pulled him along.

"We gotta find the others." As she said that she spotted Kiba, Shino, and Hinata, who all seemed unaware of the coming danger. "Hey guys!" She called out to them.

Kiba grinned. "Hey, it's that girl and Neji! What's up?" Akamaru barked.

Hinata nervously blushed. "H-hi Neji-nii-san..."

Neji sighed. "Hello."

"..." Was all Shino felt like offering.

"We have a problem." Tenten decided to get straight to the point.

"What kinda problem?" Kiba asked.

"The village is being attacked by two gigantic mutated green hair." Tenten explained.

"Whoa, really!" Kiba exclaimed. Akamaru barked.

"Mu-mutated gr-green hair...?" Stuttered Hinata.

"..." Shino said.

"Didn't Lee have green hair a little while ago? What a coincidence, don't'cha think, Akamaru?" Kiba asked his dog, which was on top of his head. Akamaru barked.

"Those **_things_** are Lee's stupid green hair!"

The other three gave off shock expressions, but you couldn't really tell with Shino since he rarely shows any expression whatsoever.

"Dude, really?" Kiba said. Akamaru barked.

"R-really...?" Hinata shyly asked.

"...?" Shino also questioned.

Neji raised an eyebrow at the silent Shino. Shino raised an eyebrow at him and suddenly, it was a silent stare off.

Tenten ignored them. "We need to find everyone and figure out a way to stop these things! Neji said that they are purely made of chakra, so not many physical attacks can harm it and if you touched it, you'll get sucked in. Also, if you were to absorb it, you'll explode." Tenten said that last part as if it was the most natural thing in the world. A person exploding...the thoughts made them shudder.

Neji and Shino continued to stare at each other in a silent fight. Clear eyes against shades. Byakugan against bugs. The good and the bad. The cool against the cooler. The – well, you get the picture. Neither was relenting.

"M-maybe we-we should, uh, ge-get Na-Naruto-kun to h-help?" Hinata stammered, blushing at the thought of seeing her crush.

Kiba frowned. "What do we need that loser for?"

"Hey! Who you callin' a loser, dog-face!" Ah, speak of the devil. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura appeared with the group. "Hey, guys! Oh, hey Hinata!" Naruto grinned and waved at them.

Hinata fainted.

They all raised an eyebrow at her.

Naruto shrugged. "Hey, what's up with bug-boy and Neji?"

Tenten glanced at them. "Oh, they're sleeping."

Everyone sweatdropped but decided to take her word for it. "But, there's something else we need to take care of."

"What's that?" Sakura asked.

"THAT!" Kiba and Tenten both shouted, pointing to the advancing green mop.

Naruto, Sakura, and even Sasuke's eyes widen at that. "WHAT is that!"

"That is Lee's hair." Tenten stated calmly.

"Lee's hair?" Sakura blinked, remembering when Lee first came to her two weeks ago with disgusting green hair.

Green Hair #1 roared at them as the larger, Green Hair #2 roared from behind them. They were trapped. During the commotion, Hinata woke up and saw that Naruto was standing over her with a concern look in his eyes.

"I wiilllll eeaaaaaaaat yoooooooooou!" Green Hair #2 growled.

Green Hair #1 also grew a mouth. "Meeeeee toooooooo! FEED ME!"

The kids screamed and ran for their lives, except for Sasuke, because he was too cool for that. And Neji and Shino, because for some reason, they found it a sport to sleep standing up. Tenten rolled her eyes and grabbed Neji, waking him from his slumber.

"What?" He murmured, allowing her to pull him.

Kiba smacked Shino to wake him. "Wake up, man!" Akamaru barked.

Together, all of them ran for their lives, except Sasuke. He's too cool to run like an idiot for his life. As they thought they were safe, one of the mutants started to shoot mini blobs of green hair at them, catching Kiba and Naruto.

"Ah! What is this!" Kiba yelled as he fell over, the green blob wrapping around his middle, sticking his arms to his side.

Naruto also fell. "Hey! This is **_so_** not cool!" They struggled to free themselves as the others stopped to help.

"Naruto! Kiba!" Sakura yelled, running to both of her fallen comrades and tugged on the green hair. "It won't come off! Can't you still run?"

"No! I can't move! It's like it paralyzed me or something!" Naruto said, unmoving. He felt oddly tired and he wanted some ramen.

Akamaru started to chew on the hair that held Kiba captive. His tongue turned green and the poor puppy passed out with little swirls in his eyes. "Akamaru!"

Shino used his bugs to try and release the two, but it failed, as his bugs turned a sickly green and started attacking people. Shino cried inside.

"AHH! First green monsters, then green bugs, and now I'm lost! AHHH!" Some random dude yelled, running in a circle until one of the green hair blobs consumed him. "NOO! I'm too young and beautiful to die! There's still much I must do!" And, like Lee and Gai, he was no more.

Speaking of Lee and Gai, let's take a look inside of Green Hair #2:

It was like being in a small dark fuzzy room. It itched in places. Lee was currently wailing. "NO! I must undo the wrong that I caused! I must save everyone! Why did I take those hair products from a stranger! Gai-sensei! I failed you!" Lee's fist connected with something. "Ow!"

"OW!" Someone said.

"Who's there?"

"...this is so troublesome..."

_**Inside of Green Hair Thing #1**_

"How could I have allowed this creature to swallow me! Kakashi is sure to win our next challenge if I do not escape! Wait, there **_will be_** no next challenge if I don't get out of here! KAKASHI, YOU WILL NOT WIN THIS TIME!" When Gai was finished his speech, he started to swing wildly at the creature's inner cores, only to hit what felt like solid steel. "NOOOOOOOOO!"

"...Keep it down, I'm trying to read Icha Icha Paradise." Gai knew that voice all too well...

"KAKASHI! You're in here too?" He paused. "How can you read in the dark?"

"Shirigan can see in the dark too." Was the explanation.

"Oh."

_**Back in the real world**_

"How do we defeat these things?" Sakura asked, helping Naruto up. "I can't get this thing off of Naruto."

"RWOAR!" Both hair things growled as they approached the children.

"I say we give them a sacrifice." Neji spoke with all seriousness in his voice.

"A sacrifice?" Everyone echoed.

Neji nodded. "Show of hands, who votes to feed Naruto to them?" Everyone raised their hands (except Hinata).

Naruto eyes widen. "Hey, wait! Why me!"

"Because you're the most annoying one." Tenten said casually with a smile.

Naruto pouted. "You guys are so wrong. At least I'll die for my country!" He yelled as they all lifted him up and offered him to the hair.

Neji knelt down, holding Naruto over his head. Naruto struggled. "Come on, man! Let me go! Let me goooo! I haven't had lunch let! I was really looking forward to pork ramen today!"

Neji ignored him. "Oh Mighty Green Hair that Belonged to Lee. Please, take this as our offering and leave us be."

Both of the hair creatures stopped in the destruction to look at Neji with the tasty looking Naruto. One of them grabbed Naruto. Neji sighed in relief, until the other one reached out and grabbed him.

"This wasn't part of the plan!" Neji shouted.

Just then, Chouji was walking down the street eating a plate of sushi. He loved sushi, just like he loved everything else that you could eat. Food was the heart and soul of a person. As he was walking, he noticed his friends and the green hair monsters. "Huh?" He walked over to them and tripped over the knocked out Akamaru, dropping his sushi, which went flying towards the still confined Kiba.

One of the stray sushi landed on the green blob that was attached to Kiba and at first nothing happened until it screamed and shriveled away.

Everyone blinked. Kiba grinned. "Alright! I'm free!" Akamaru came to and barked.

Sakura thought for a moment. "I think I know their weakness...Chouji! Do you have any more sushi?"

Chouji nodded and pulled out two boxes of sushi from his pocket. "You're not gonna do what I think you are, are you?"

Sakura nodded and grabbed the sushi boxes. "Quick, everyone, throw some sushi at them!"

Everyone did as they were told, grabbing the raw fish and throwing it at the green monster. They noticed the incoming 'missiles' and screamed.

"No! My only weakness! Nooooooo sushi! Nooooooooo!" As the sushi was thrown at him, he started to shrink and shrink until he exploded, the people he 'ate' came crashing down to the earth. Gai jumped up.

"HA-HA! I knew you stood no chance against my massive manliness!"

"Gai, you have problems." Kakashi said, not taking his eyes off his book.

Sakura and the others aimed for green hair #2. They hit dead on and the same thing as the first happened to the second. He exploded and all the people it consumed came crashing down.

"Yes! I'm free!" Lee shouted as he landed on the ground with the grace of a cow. His hair was now back to it's normal length, but nobody wanted to take any chances.

Neji, being free, grabbed Lee by the collar of his jump suit. "You little annoying green--"

Tenten stopped him. "Neji, not now! We have to make sure this NEVER happens again, then you can kill him all you want!" They dragged Lee towards his home and gave him the most disgustingly sushi bath ever.

Two hours later, they all surrounded Lee, glaring at him.

"And what did you learn, Lee?" Tenten asked with narrow eyes and her hands on her hips.

Lee's eyes were cast to the ground as he sighed. His hair was back to it's original black color. "To never take hair products from strangers..."

"Good." Tenten said, lighting up.

As they were about to leave, that mysterious voice returned. "_Would you like some...green nail polish_?" Lee's eyes brighten.

"NO!" Everyone yelled and grabbed Lee, taking him as far away from the hidden voice.

The voice sighed as they left and stopped out of one of the bushes to only reveal...-**_gasp_**- Orochimaru. "And I thought for sure they would want the nail polish..." He laughed creepily as everything went pitch black.

Before the screen went entirely black, however, Orochimaru's head pop out the black screen. "Would **_you_** like some nail polish?"

_**----------**_

_**AN**: I think that was the dumbest story I've ever written. Haha. Sushi...-**giggles**- So, what'cha thought? Please review!_


End file.
